Hello all!
It has been 14 days since my last official health update. A lot has happened since then. We did have a great meeting in Portland hosted by the Cholangiocarcinoma Foundation (CCF) but it is a lot to digest. So maybe we take baby steps?
The stool tests show that Michael still has enough pancreatic enzymes. Now after our trip to the ER at Peacehealth hospital on the 24th due to vomiting blood, it is fairly clear that most of his discomfort and bloating was due to intraabdominal pressure from the ascites. They did an endoscopy and were able to cauterize and/or staple active bleeds in the esophagus. This if from esophageal varices which are veins that come to the surface due to portal vein hypertension and can bleed. Both of these new symptoms point to advanced cirrhosis. Yesterday they drained off 2.5 liters of fluid from his abdomen in hopes to relieve some of these pressure in his belly. This condition can be managed with diuretics or repeated visits to have the abdomen drained.
They gave him 3 units of blood and many meds via IV to stabilize his very low blood pressure. Now that he is stable and the internal bleeding has stopped, they moved him out of the ICU. At 11am they also gave him another drain exchange. Michael is all patched up and rewired! Likely Michael can go home from hospital tomorrow or the next day.
We have been granted more time together. It could be a short time or it could be a long time. But time, if fully lived and felt in every moment, is eternal. I am aware that when Michael leaves his body, not just his memories are with me forever, but something so much more, like an energy imprint made up of experiences together. This last 18 months of extended life has been amazing, a different setting and time period than any other. I am encouraging myself to savor every bit and fully experience all of the emotion. This is a teaching to me of how to live fully. Don’t miss anything.
Your prayers are all part of this amazing connective experience we can have together. We are never alone. Leaning into life. Leaning into joy. Joy is pulling me through all of it, including times of sobbing and facing things. You can’t go through things without facing them first. Face it, focus on it, feel it, and then infiltrate it with God’s presence. I want to let my experience, of pain or grief be saturated with the Holy Spirit. Then the lightness comes,
I want to take His yoke upon me and learn from Him for He is humble of heart (not: I can do this myself!) and His yoke is easy and His burden light. Lightness comes when I let go.
Leave a Reply