Poem in Response to Post of 10/8/24
by Kelly McClane

For Michael

October 8, 2024

Izzy wants me to sing “Fly Eagle Fly”

I think of you

And as usually happens when I sing this lullaby

I recall images of so many of us flapping our arms like birds and “flying” around the sanctuary;

As if this was the meaning of freedom,

Well, it was fun anyway…

I am certain you were there with me

More than once

Flapping your wings, smiling, singing:

“Worry not about tomorrow,

He adorns you like the lily

Wipes away your tears and sorrow,

Heartaches of forgotten day…”

 

I’m laying beside her now on her bed

Tears rolling down my cheeks,

Tickling behind my ears and into my hair;

I needed a shower anyway.

She doesn’t know I’m crying

She doesn’t know what I’m thinking

But her finger tips caress my finger nails

And I’m comforted by her simple love,

Her simple desire to just be with me.

 

Yet as sweet as it is

I must get up

There are things on my mind

And she needs to sleep.

I want to come write, to be alone with my thoughts

To not miss this window of opportunity

To try as best I can

To put into words…

Oh but the words aren’t good enough

They’re too sappy

Too grandiose

Nothing is good enough.

Then your faithfully encouraging words remind me

That they are.

That no matter how it comes out,

It’s beautiful

Because it’s real.

 

I want to come see you,

But that wouldn’t be enough either,

I’d just want to do it again.

It wouldn’t satiate any longing,

It wouldn’t soften any blow.

 

When a friend is grappling with death

I default to assuming the best,

Because I cannot handle the worst.

But as this journey unfolds

And you both slap your hearts down on paper,

One update and story at a time,

There is one inspiring revelation after another,

That life is a gift,

That we are the Light,

That He never fails,

Only our understanding of Him,

That the child in us can be healed, in this life,

That we can face our mistakes

And accept fully His grace, in this life.

That we can lay bare our messy souls,

And accept the love and support of our family and friends, in this life.

That we can declare our love for God

And our faith in His Word,

Though so much remains unanswered, in this life.

That we can hold fast again to our passion for Christ,

Even after it has been used against us, in this life.

 

I will pray for healing every time,

But I will also trust that He knows so much better than I.

And I will thank Him always

For the healing He has provided to my friend, Michael,

And through my friends Michael and Sarah, to me,

Over the past year and a half, and before.

While we were occupied with detailed reports of sickness,

God was healing many things.

Healings that manifest as freedom

From one shackle at a time.

(And I’m reminded, that the last shackle is death.)

 

Our Father has made His love known,

Just not in the way we imagined.

You were granted life to minister and teach.

Still I will hope and pray, until all of our dying breaths,

That the day of no more death is today.

 

And whenever you look to the West again,

And you feel it pulling you gently near

Worry not at mountain high,

As he teaches us to be free.

 

I truly believe, whether here or there,

we are in this together, on our way to ultimate freedom;

A Holy Freedom according to His will.

 

For if we live, we live unto the Lord,

and if we die, we die unto the Lord.

So then, whether we live or whether we die,

we are the Lord’s.

 All my love and admiration for you and Sarah, forever etched into my heart and soul, an eternal, cherished imprint of the Father’s gracious love for me.

Kelly