Update January 21, 2025

It is cold here. In the 20s at night, but it is not raining and the sun is coming out each day! A welcome change. However, the winter sun with all its interesting angles, shines through the windows exposing the surface of the glass, lots of little glue spots where spiders have attached their webs (OK don’t worry this is on the outside glass) and very streaky lines where I had diligently tried to clean those windows last spring. So yeah, I go a lot of dirt off, but in the winter the streaks are all exposed. Here again, the angles of the winter sun have a way of showing there is more work to be done. A good time for inner work.

One thing I do know is that Michael has gone from physical existence. I can’t wish him back into this realm, into his small condensed body. He is too big to fit here now. He has expanded and become a force of life to me and to others. Knowing this and that he is having a blast, goes a long way to making my days bright.

Honestly, it has not been easy having Michael gone from my life. I thought to myself last night, “Well, my husband died, it is not the end of the world, but wait- it was the end of MY world.”

It is a whole new level of ego death – letting go of a prominent role in my life. It makes me ask, “Who am I if I am not Michael’s wife and partner?”

Also, I am realizing how much his presence comforted me and made me feel, seen, covered, and that I knew this smart person kind of had my back. If I left something running, he would catch it, if there were strange noises in the night, he would be with me, and on and on.

There is a lot of growth and bravery required for me at this time. My current task is to stay into my own evolution, find as much of my true essence that I can and learn to express that into this world with no hesitation or fear.

So, prayer focus: sending courage and bravery.  Yay!

I am starting back into teaching qigong this week and I am happy about that.

I sent you all links in the email, but here they are again just in case you lose the email.

Here is the zoom link for the livestream

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/82958035507

Here is a link to the Sunset Hills Funeral Home and an obituary page for Michael. After the memorial a recording will be posted there.

Obituary information for Michael Stuart McMullen